An unforgettable gift that keeps on giving

December 13 and 14, 2008

Sunday morning I had my very first Harley Davidson ride, it was a cool, yet sunny day, perfect for riding, I heard. I absolutely loved it!!!! To say the least, my cheekbones hurt at the end of the ride, from smiling the whole time. As I held on to Ron, riding on the I-10, I had this incredible urge to wave at all the cars (kind of like a little kid riding the bus for the first time); I just wanted everyone to see how excited and happy I was. I always knew it would be fun, however, it was more than I expected… After an incredibly exciting morning, I arrive at home to find the biggest surprise of my life!!!! My sister Blanca and Tiffany met me at the front door and proceeded to escort me to the backyard where a number of people were standing around the pool, at first it did not make any sense, I really did not recognize any of faces, although they were all people I know and love. It took a few seconds for me to realize what was happening. The people standing around the pool in my backyard happened to be my family members and my District “family” members; it still did not make any sense!! After a few seconds I noticed that my backyard looked totally different – beautiful, perfect!!! It felt like a dream, a really amazing dream, one of those dreams that don’t make any sense, but its still a wonderful dream. I wish there was a way I could express what this wonderful surprise did to my soul. I was glowing on the inside (and it wasn’t from radiation). To see all these wonderful people do so much work for me, especially during this very busy time of the year. I feel truly blessed to be surrounded by so many angels who give me so much love unconditionally. This is the BEST Christmas present I have ever received!!!!

Elaine, with the help of my sister, had been planning for weeks to do a major, and I mean major, front and back yard beautification. The amount of work and time it took, not only to plan and organize, but to get so many people involved and keep it a secret!?! It is just an incredible feeling. – I know Elaine worked very hard to get everyone together and coordinate this magnificent plan. There are moments when I find myself down and depress, but then I step out into my backyard and I’m reminded of all the people (angels) that care and support me. Seeing all the beautiful flowers gives me the strength to look up again and continue my battle. What a wonderful gift I continue to receive each and every day, and its only going to get better. I’m so grateful to God for surrounding me with such wonderful angels – what an incredible feeling of being loved!!!!

New - new hair

Yesterday I received my second chemo treatment -- it went very well, blood work is right on target, health-wise I'm right on top of the charts.

it is a long process. It starts at 9 a.m. and it goes until 5 p.m. My sister Blanca drove in from L.A. again to be with me. She is such a great support -- she spoils me when she is here. I do have to say that although I never really had a problem breathing prior to being diagnosed, and I don't really know if this is psychological or the chimo is actually shrinking the tumors, but I feel as if I can breath deeper, better. Whatever the case, I feel really good.

My hair has finally fallen out ( most of it ) it started gradually which I though it could be something I could handle -- but then more and more was falling out until one night while shampooing it -- it all just fell out, just like that, I was so not prepare for that --- I cried for a long time as I tried to vacuum my precious hair off the bathroom floor -- there is just no way of describing that feeling -- it took me long while before I could look at myself in the mirror. Lucille happen to call at them moment, we talk and I felt better -- the next day, Lucille, Tiffany and I went to a wig shop and pick out new hair -- I really like my new wig -- I think it looks pretty natural -- who knows? I can see some possibilities, maybe other styles, other colors and why not other personalities. I think I can have some fun with this!!!

Thank you again to all my angels and pillars -- I could not do this without you -- your positive vibrations, thoughtful actions and prayers empower me to overcome each obstacle. I draw my strength from each of you. I love getting your e-mails and comments, please keep them coming. I'm trying really hard to maintain emotional, spiritual and physical balance and I know that with the grace of God watching over me and all your help I can do this!!!

I do have to share one more thing, When my Dr. told me the news I don't think I heard everything he was saying, after the initial shock, my brain just stopped processing, but I do remember something he said "this is a gift you may not want, nonetheless, it is a gift" I did not understand what he was saying to me then, I do now. Each and everyday, no matter what day of the week, I live it as if it was my last one, and I have learned to appreciate each and every moment, specially with my children and the people I love. Now I understand what my doctor was saying. I want to live the rest of my life that way. As traumatic as this illness is, I find myself really happy over very little things, fortunate and grateful, always grateful.

By the way, my sister Blanca shaved her beautiful curly hair just before she left back to L.A. today, so that I would not feel so bad for losing mine. I love her and the support she gives me.