I am officially a Zumba Instructor!!!
31.5.11
20.5.11
The Majestic SUNRISE
The promise of a new day and a guaranteed new beginning!!!
I got my results from the scan and they are GOOOOD… OMG… as I walk out of the doctor’s office it feels as if my shoulders are going to detached from the rest of my body. The tension on my shoulders was finally released…. Huuufffff
My appointment was for yesterday afternoon, not wanting to keep it, Joan and Heather convinced me to go and get it out of the way. Joan went with me, which was a really good thing…. I’m glad of that. The doctor reviewed the result s of the scan and blood work and concluded that the growth previously seen is very small, minor and unimportant. He doesn’t seen the need to biopsy or operate to remove, he feels that a scan to monitor it is not necessary for 4 to 6 months. He feels that the oral chemo might just not be getting to it and it might be a residue from what was there before. The fear that the cancer might be back is no longer there……. Again, Huuuufffff…..
NOTE: Prior to seeing the doctors, the nurse that was taking my temperature and blood pleasure dropped a paper-clip. Joan, him and I looked for it on a very shinny, clean floor of the examining room, until we found it. At the end of my consultation with the doctors I look down with such relief and guess what I found? … a new penny…. In God we trust!!!! Of course I had to share my story with Joan…
17.5.11
IN GOD WE TRUST
I once heard a story that I often share with people that are going through some difficult times, here it is…
There once was a couple who were invited to a company dinner at a very exclusive restaurant. After a wonderful evening of dinning and great conversation the group headed to the parking lot. As the couple continues their conversation with the husband’s boss, a very successful businessman and CEO of his own company, the man bent over to pick-up a penny from the ground and smiled as he put it in his pocket. The wife was puzzled by the sight of this distinguished, well-dressed man picking up a simple penny from the ground. After a short while, she gathered enough courage to ask if he was doing it for luck. The man answer with a smile “every time I see a penny I pick it up, it reminds me to put my trust in God”.
Most often when I worry about something, somehow I always find a shinny penny in the oddest of places. I too, am remained to put my trust in God.
NOTE: Yesterday when I was in the hospital getting ready for my CT scan… as I was changing into the hospital gown in the dressing room, someone had left a bunch of shinny, new pennies on a countertop. I took one with me…
There once was a couple who were invited to a company dinner at a very exclusive restaurant. After a wonderful evening of dinning and great conversation the group headed to the parking lot. As the couple continues their conversation with the husband’s boss, a very successful businessman and CEO of his own company, the man bent over to pick-up a penny from the ground and smiled as he put it in his pocket. The wife was puzzled by the sight of this distinguished, well-dressed man picking up a simple penny from the ground. After a short while, she gathered enough courage to ask if he was doing it for luck. The man answer with a smile “every time I see a penny I pick it up, it reminds me to put my trust in God”.
Most often when I worry about something, somehow I always find a shinny penny in the oddest of places. I too, am remained to put my trust in God.
NOTE: Yesterday when I was in the hospital getting ready for my CT scan… as I was changing into the hospital gown in the dressing room, someone had left a bunch of shinny, new pennies on a countertop. I took one with me…
16.5.11
Just a Little Bit of My Gentle Pete...
Pete, gentle, sweet smile.
It has been very difficult for me to talk about my sweet Pete. I feel ready now…
Pete came into my life December, 2008; he was Tiffany’s boyfriend. He was diagnosed with leukemia. Pete became part of our family, got along with the boys, was in love with Tiffany and he became like another son to me. Pete came to the house often; he loved my chicken tacos… When he was in the hospital, we too visited him there often. Pete passed away last year, May; he was only 20 years old. Pete and I could relate on one level: Cancer. I thought that if I could teach him to eat healthy, have a great attitude, stay optimistic, etc. etc. he could win the battle against cancer. That was not the case. All along I thought I was teaching him something, but no – he is the one who taught me to be strong with a smile, always with a smile. I know he did not want to die, but I also know that his body became too weak and he couldn’t fight anymore… There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. I often call his cell phone just to listen to his voicemail message. He touched my heart in a way that very few people can. He was the kind of person that never complaint no matter what. For Tiffany’s birthday, the five of us went to Disneyland. I rented a wheel chair for Pete, though he was a bit embarrassed to use, I knew it would be better for him. He did not want to sit on it (I think he was trying to show Tiff that he was as normal as anyone else – I can relate to that!!!!) so Alex and Tony took turns sitting on the chair and getting pushed around to make Pete feel more comfortable, and so finally he did sit in it. We all took turns pushing him around the park and had a great time. I’ve been to Disneyland many times, but this time was different… He was so happy… We all were. When his was buried, he was buried with Tiffany’s hairband around his wrist. His mom once told me that when he was in isolation at the hospital, he used to play with the hairband all the time; that’s what kept him closed to Tiffany…
The same weekend we went to Disneyland, we also took part in a cancer walk in Redlands… It was great, Pete was wearing a t-shirt Alex had given him earlier, it said, “F--k Cancer” – somehow it seemed appropriate. My sisters also drove from Los Angeles to take part on the walk. It was nice being all together… so many wonderful memories of him. When I think of him, I see him with two great, white feathery wings looking down on us with a great big smile. There is no other place he could possibly be but up with our Lord up in heaven. I will forever keep Pete in my heart.
It is so unfair to see someone as good and young as Pete go through something so awful and devastating as battling Cancer. Think of your greatest trauma or the time you felt afraid and alone, the darkest moment in your life and there was nobody that can comfort you, make your fears disappear or just make you feel better… Battling cancer is worse than that, battling cancer is a personal fight; it is a fight that takes all the mental, emotional and physical energy from you, it makes you want to take control of WHEN your life should end, it makes you question your faith… day in and day out facing your biggest fear… it drains you every which way. But cancer also changes you forever. You learn to appreciate the wonderful moments in your everyday life that otherwise would be taken for granted; it is looking for the good in people, it makes you not only want to stop and smell the roses but admire their beautiful color and feel the softness of its petals. You become a thief, stealing time from life.
In my opinion, Pete did not deserve to die so young … he was such an incredibly gentle human being, however I trust the Creator knows best. I’m saddened not because he was taken from this world to a pain-free heaven; I’m saddened because I can’t see him anymore. Yes I know, I’m being selfish… but I still miss him.
Pete, until I see you again, there will always be a tear in my heart for you!
It has been very difficult for me to talk about my sweet Pete. I feel ready now…
Pete came into my life December, 2008; he was Tiffany’s boyfriend. He was diagnosed with leukemia. Pete became part of our family, got along with the boys, was in love with Tiffany and he became like another son to me. Pete came to the house often; he loved my chicken tacos… When he was in the hospital, we too visited him there often. Pete passed away last year, May; he was only 20 years old. Pete and I could relate on one level: Cancer. I thought that if I could teach him to eat healthy, have a great attitude, stay optimistic, etc. etc. he could win the battle against cancer. That was not the case. All along I thought I was teaching him something, but no – he is the one who taught me to be strong with a smile, always with a smile. I know he did not want to die, but I also know that his body became too weak and he couldn’t fight anymore… There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. I often call his cell phone just to listen to his voicemail message. He touched my heart in a way that very few people can. He was the kind of person that never complaint no matter what. For Tiffany’s birthday, the five of us went to Disneyland. I rented a wheel chair for Pete, though he was a bit embarrassed to use, I knew it would be better for him. He did not want to sit on it (I think he was trying to show Tiff that he was as normal as anyone else – I can relate to that!!!!) so Alex and Tony took turns sitting on the chair and getting pushed around to make Pete feel more comfortable, and so finally he did sit in it. We all took turns pushing him around the park and had a great time. I’ve been to Disneyland many times, but this time was different… He was so happy… We all were. When his was buried, he was buried with Tiffany’s hairband around his wrist. His mom once told me that when he was in isolation at the hospital, he used to play with the hairband all the time; that’s what kept him closed to Tiffany…
The same weekend we went to Disneyland, we also took part in a cancer walk in Redlands… It was great, Pete was wearing a t-shirt Alex had given him earlier, it said, “F--k Cancer” – somehow it seemed appropriate. My sisters also drove from Los Angeles to take part on the walk. It was nice being all together… so many wonderful memories of him. When I think of him, I see him with two great, white feathery wings looking down on us with a great big smile. There is no other place he could possibly be but up with our Lord up in heaven. I will forever keep Pete in my heart.
It is so unfair to see someone as good and young as Pete go through something so awful and devastating as battling Cancer. Think of your greatest trauma or the time you felt afraid and alone, the darkest moment in your life and there was nobody that can comfort you, make your fears disappear or just make you feel better… Battling cancer is worse than that, battling cancer is a personal fight; it is a fight that takes all the mental, emotional and physical energy from you, it makes you want to take control of WHEN your life should end, it makes you question your faith… day in and day out facing your biggest fear… it drains you every which way. But cancer also changes you forever. You learn to appreciate the wonderful moments in your everyday life that otherwise would be taken for granted; it is looking for the good in people, it makes you not only want to stop and smell the roses but admire their beautiful color and feel the softness of its petals. You become a thief, stealing time from life.
In my opinion, Pete did not deserve to die so young … he was such an incredibly gentle human being, however I trust the Creator knows best. I’m saddened not because he was taken from this world to a pain-free heaven; I’m saddened because I can’t see him anymore. Yes I know, I’m being selfish… but I still miss him.
Pete, until I see you again, there will always be a tear in my heart for you!
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