I never, in a million years, thought I would find myself sitting here feeling as ready, as I do today, ready to fight the fight of and for my life. It’s amazing to me how in a split second everything I ever believe to be a priority and things that used to be of importance are just very minor details in the big scope of things.
I start chemotherapy tomorrow; I’m fighting stage 3-B lung cancer. The thought of chemotherapy used to scare the heck out of me, today it means HOPE, hope for a chance to see my kids grow-up just a little bit more. Hope to cheer Alex from the bleachers as he runs with all his might to be the first one crossing the finish line during a track meet, hope to see Tony graduate from high school and continue his education on to college, and hope to see how beautiful Tiffany looks in her wedding dress walking down the aisle.
So to say the least, I am so ready to start this battle that I know will weaken my knees, but will not defeat me!!!!
18 comments:
What You Cannot Take From Me
I am for this day.
One built upon another
to make up a lifetime,
with the most precious
being the day, I live in
here with you.
I am for this day.
Completely yours,
full of courage,
hope and the desire
I give to you,
today and ever after.
I am for this day.
As your mother, your sister,
your daughter, your friend,
I am Carmen, and with
tremendous beauty and
a love for life on fire.
I am for this day.
Wonderful Page, you ROCK!
What You Cannot Take From Me
I am for this day.
One built upon another
to make up a lifetime,
with the most precious
being the day, I live in
here with you.
I am for this day.
Completely yours,
full of courage,
hope and the desire
I give to you,
today and ever after.
I am for this day.
As your mother, your sister,
your daughter, your friend,
I am Carmen, and with
tremendous beauty and
a love for life on fire.
I am for this day.
thanks for sharing yourself with all of us. We are with you in spirit, as prayer warriors for you, your family, your doctors ... We are inspired by you! You are loved!!
This is a COOL blog site Carmen. I'm glad you are doing this. It will be good for you to be able to write your thoughts and feelings, and it will help all of us who love you be kept up-to-date on how you are doing without you having to answer a bazillion questions every day (because there are THAT MANY people who care). Please call on me to listen, dump on, scream at, or do the laundry (or anything in between). I love you, and I know you will look get through this (with all of us in your corner to help!)
I love you, Joan
Hello Carmen, let me start by saying you inspire me. You always have.
I am Carmen's little sister and she's taught me so much. She always told me how smart I was and empowered me to be who am I am. Now Carmen, it's my turn. It's my turn to tell you what a strong and beautiful woman you are and how much I have learned and continue to learn from you. You inspire me to be a better mother because you are so devoted to you children whom I love so much. You inspire me to be a better person because you are constantly bettering yourself and now you are teaching me to be a warrior because I see how you are facing this with so much courage.
My arms hurt because I can't hug you and tell you how proud I am to call you my sister and that we're in this together. I am with you in thoughts and prayers and heart. Please know how much I love and wish I could be with you now.
And although we are in different countries, WE WILL BEAT THIS TOGETHER!!! We're all with you!
I love you, Ana
Carmen, I am with you every step of the way. You have my prayers and support. I know you will fight this because so many people are there for you.
Shari
Hi Tia Guera,
First of all, I want to tell you about my project for school. I was assigned a project on how I would help someone in need. When I thought about this, I thought of you. First, my idea was visitng you in the hospital. I never thought that you would be sick. When I last saw you, you looked fine. Then I thought of something else. It's to sell bracelets and raise money to give to you for all you need. My problem is how I could buy things over there with the pesos people pay me here.
For the second part of my project in the future, it was me as a doctor helping you in the hospital. The hospital will be built to help people suffering from any type of cancer, especially because you are my aunt. I ended up turning in only half of my project because the teacher said it was too big. I will save the other half to give to you when I go visit you in the states. I love you so much and I hope you get better really soon!
Hugs and Kisses,
Daniella (8 years old)
You go girl!!! You are an inpiration to all and I am awed by your words, your strength and indomitable spirit. I'm here for you any time and for whatever you may need... sending lots of love, hugs and positive energy.
Vivian
Carmen amiguita:
you are my best friend and I like your blog because are you!
Im very proud of you and I know you always are a warrior!
thanks for be my friend and I love you so much
Rocio Prieto
Mexico City
My prayers are with you.
I am a random bog searcher. You are inspiring and brave. I wish the very best for you.
Hey Carmen--> It sounds like you got it going on.. You have been an inspiration to several people. We have had a few tough days at school but your challenge puts the "tough" days in perspective. Great family! Stay positive and fight like hell! Milt
Hi Carmen,
I look forward to reading your blog. I check it daily and was glad to read your CT scan came back clean. It's prayer and positive energy in action! And I know there is much more good news lined up for us. We just have to keep fighting, praying and believing! I believe in God and I believe in you!!!! If there is someone strong enough to look cancer in the eyes and make it blink first, it's you.
God knows I'm scared of you!
And I think I'm pretty tough. :)
Love you and thinking of you all the time,
Ana
By the way, today we went for a walk on the beach (beautiful)and I thought of you. How you would really enjoy sitting on the sand, wrapped in a warm blanket, reading a good book while listening to the surf and occasionally looking up to watch the people walking by. So when all this is over and behind us. You have an open invitaion to come visit us in Cancun!!! Or you can jump on a plane & come now, too!
Hey Carmen, just want you to know that you are an inspiration to all of us. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I especially love the way that you make everyone around you feel good about themselves, you always know just what to say, always positive. You're in my thoughts and prayers. We all love you very much! Keep on being the strong and courageous woman we all know you to be!
BUENOS DIAS MI GUERRERA !!!!!
COMO TODAS LAS MAÑANAS, MADRUGADA PARA UDS. VENGO A CHECAR TU BLOG , PARA DARTE LOS BUENOS DIAS.
Y CONVERSAR UN POCO CONTIGO. DECIRTE QUE LA DISTANCIA ES SOLO ESO, NUESTRO AMOR Y BUENOS DESEOS TE ACOMPAÑAN.
SE QUE TE GUSTA MUCHO LA MUSICA, QUE MAS AGRADO SERIA TENERTE PARA EL FESTIVAL DE VIÑA, GRITANDO COMO LOCAS COMO CUANDO FUIMOS A VER A EMANUEL, TE ACUERDAS?? SE QUE VAMOS A VOLVER A REVIVIR ESOS MOMENTOS YA SEA EN USA, MEX O CHILE.
TE INYECTO DE FUERZA Y OPTIMISMO DESDE CHILE.
T.Q.M.
Y. LOMELI
Hey Carmen:
sounds like you fought through over Thanksgiving...just the PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) your body needs to help beat down those toxins! and we all ARE here to help you, and we pray daily - so use us!
wow, dont you look like the tough-and-rugged-woman out there in the desert? since i was raised in the CC Cove i hiked the foothills as a kid and i have to agree, it is a great reminder of God's ability to nurture and produce in the un-Godliest of habitats. follow your peace wherever you find it! and find your strength wherever you can!
working on the "replacement hair" issue and hope to have directive from Making Memories this week for you.
Love/Hope/Faith - Deb
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