One of my biggest fears has been to be tied down to a hospital bed… I consider myself very lucky that up until a few weeks ago, I had not spent any time in the hospital. I believe this is the reason why I was so nervous about the surgery, well one of the reasons… I am feeling physically stronger – every morning as I get out of bed I can feel my body getting stronger and stronger.
I returned to work yesterday and I very much welcomed “normality” back in my life. Now that I think about it, I don’t dream of expensive vacations, toys or wealth, I only dream of having a “normal within my means” lifestyle and by that I mean being the kind of parent to my kids that is not in a hurry to teach, say or show them something because it feels as if I might be running out of time, spending time with my close personal friends talking about trivial topics and not intense mood dropping issues, seeing “one” doctor once a year for an annual physical exam, waking up in the morning and having the notion that I will live for a long time and most importantly never having to worry about test results…
Test results… Today I have an appointment to review the genetics results with my oncologist, not nervous, only anxious… whatever the results I will have to get on a new medication or treatment, at this point it’s just a matter of which direction to follow… Honestly, I am tired. I think I need a vacation from my life. My body is strong, but I’m not!!!
I returned to work yesterday and I very much welcomed “normality” back in my life. Now that I think about it, I don’t dream of expensive vacations, toys or wealth, I only dream of having a “normal within my means” lifestyle and by that I mean being the kind of parent to my kids that is not in a hurry to teach, say or show them something because it feels as if I might be running out of time, spending time with my close personal friends talking about trivial topics and not intense mood dropping issues, seeing “one” doctor once a year for an annual physical exam, waking up in the morning and having the notion that I will live for a long time and most importantly never having to worry about test results…
Test results… Today I have an appointment to review the genetics results with my oncologist, not nervous, only anxious… whatever the results I will have to get on a new medication or treatment, at this point it’s just a matter of which direction to follow… Honestly, I am tired. I think I need a vacation from my life. My body is strong, but I’m not!!!
1 comment:
Carmen, you are loved. I always tell you that you have inspired me! You are the strongest person I know and you have an awesome charma about you!! You are always in my thoughts and prayers!!
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