Pete, gentle, sweet smile.
It has been very difficult for me to talk about my sweet Pete. I feel ready now…
Pete came into my life December, 2008; he was Tiffany’s boyfriend. He was diagnosed with leukemia. Pete became part of our family, got along with the boys, was in love with Tiffany and he became like another son to me. Pete came to the house often; he loved my chicken tacos… When he was in the hospital, we too visited him there often. Pete passed away last year, May; he was only 20 years old. Pete and I could relate on one level: Cancer. I thought that if I could teach him to eat healthy, have a great attitude, stay optimistic, etc. etc. he could win the battle against cancer. That was not the case. All along I thought I was teaching him something, but no – he is the one who taught me to be strong with a smile, always with a smile. I know he did not want to die, but I also know that his body became too weak and he couldn’t fight anymore… There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. I often call his cell phone just to listen to his voicemail message. He touched my heart in a way that very few people can. He was the kind of person that never complaint no matter what. For Tiffany’s birthday, the five of us went to Disneyland. I rented a wheel chair for Pete, though he was a bit embarrassed to use, I knew it would be better for him. He did not want to sit on it (I think he was trying to show Tiff that he was as normal as anyone else – I can relate to that!!!!) so Alex and Tony took turns sitting on the chair and getting pushed around to make Pete feel more comfortable, and so finally he did sit in it. We all took turns pushing him around the park and had a great time. I’ve been to Disneyland many times, but this time was different… He was so happy… We all were. When his was buried, he was buried with Tiffany’s hairband around his wrist. His mom once told me that when he was in isolation at the hospital, he used to play with the hairband all the time; that’s what kept him closed to Tiffany…
The same weekend we went to Disneyland, we also took part in a cancer walk in Redlands… It was great, Pete was wearing a t-shirt Alex had given him earlier, it said, “F--k Cancer” – somehow it seemed appropriate. My sisters also drove from Los Angeles to take part on the walk. It was nice being all together… so many wonderful memories of him. When I think of him, I see him with two great, white feathery wings looking down on us with a great big smile. There is no other place he could possibly be but up with our Lord up in heaven. I will forever keep Pete in my heart.
It is so unfair to see someone as good and young as Pete go through something so awful and devastating as battling Cancer. Think of your greatest trauma or the time you felt afraid and alone, the darkest moment in your life and there was nobody that can comfort you, make your fears disappear or just make you feel better… Battling cancer is worse than that, battling cancer is a personal fight; it is a fight that takes all the mental, emotional and physical energy from you, it makes you want to take control of WHEN your life should end, it makes you question your faith… day in and day out facing your biggest fear… it drains you every which way. But cancer also changes you forever. You learn to appreciate the wonderful moments in your everyday life that otherwise would be taken for granted; it is looking for the good in people, it makes you not only want to stop and smell the roses but admire their beautiful color and feel the softness of its petals. You become a thief, stealing time from life.
In my opinion, Pete did not deserve to die so young … he was such an incredibly gentle human being, however I trust the Creator knows best. I’m saddened not because he was taken from this world to a pain-free heaven; I’m saddened because I can’t see him anymore. Yes I know, I’m being selfish… but I still miss him.
Pete, until I see you again, there will always be a tear in my heart for you!
It has been very difficult for me to talk about my sweet Pete. I feel ready now…
Pete came into my life December, 2008; he was Tiffany’s boyfriend. He was diagnosed with leukemia. Pete became part of our family, got along with the boys, was in love with Tiffany and he became like another son to me. Pete came to the house often; he loved my chicken tacos… When he was in the hospital, we too visited him there often. Pete passed away last year, May; he was only 20 years old. Pete and I could relate on one level: Cancer. I thought that if I could teach him to eat healthy, have a great attitude, stay optimistic, etc. etc. he could win the battle against cancer. That was not the case. All along I thought I was teaching him something, but no – he is the one who taught me to be strong with a smile, always with a smile. I know he did not want to die, but I also know that his body became too weak and he couldn’t fight anymore… There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. I often call his cell phone just to listen to his voicemail message. He touched my heart in a way that very few people can. He was the kind of person that never complaint no matter what. For Tiffany’s birthday, the five of us went to Disneyland. I rented a wheel chair for Pete, though he was a bit embarrassed to use, I knew it would be better for him. He did not want to sit on it (I think he was trying to show Tiff that he was as normal as anyone else – I can relate to that!!!!) so Alex and Tony took turns sitting on the chair and getting pushed around to make Pete feel more comfortable, and so finally he did sit in it. We all took turns pushing him around the park and had a great time. I’ve been to Disneyland many times, but this time was different… He was so happy… We all were. When his was buried, he was buried with Tiffany’s hairband around his wrist. His mom once told me that when he was in isolation at the hospital, he used to play with the hairband all the time; that’s what kept him closed to Tiffany…
The same weekend we went to Disneyland, we also took part in a cancer walk in Redlands… It was great, Pete was wearing a t-shirt Alex had given him earlier, it said, “F--k Cancer” – somehow it seemed appropriate. My sisters also drove from Los Angeles to take part on the walk. It was nice being all together… so many wonderful memories of him. When I think of him, I see him with two great, white feathery wings looking down on us with a great big smile. There is no other place he could possibly be but up with our Lord up in heaven. I will forever keep Pete in my heart.
It is so unfair to see someone as good and young as Pete go through something so awful and devastating as battling Cancer. Think of your greatest trauma or the time you felt afraid and alone, the darkest moment in your life and there was nobody that can comfort you, make your fears disappear or just make you feel better… Battling cancer is worse than that, battling cancer is a personal fight; it is a fight that takes all the mental, emotional and physical energy from you, it makes you want to take control of WHEN your life should end, it makes you question your faith… day in and day out facing your biggest fear… it drains you every which way. But cancer also changes you forever. You learn to appreciate the wonderful moments in your everyday life that otherwise would be taken for granted; it is looking for the good in people, it makes you not only want to stop and smell the roses but admire their beautiful color and feel the softness of its petals. You become a thief, stealing time from life.
In my opinion, Pete did not deserve to die so young … he was such an incredibly gentle human being, however I trust the Creator knows best. I’m saddened not because he was taken from this world to a pain-free heaven; I’m saddened because I can’t see him anymore. Yes I know, I’m being selfish… but I still miss him.
Pete, until I see you again, there will always be a tear in my heart for you!
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